Matt James, a high school student from my home state of Ohio, died last week while on spring break.  He was a 17-year-old Notre Dame football recruit.  My heart goes out to his unsuspecting family.  I know all too well how this feels, and their world is surely upside down right now.

James was said to be “drunk and belligerent” before he fell from a fifth-floor Days Inn balcony in Panama City Beach, FL.  I remember going to Panama City both my junior and senior years of high school.  However, I don’t clearly remember a whole lot.  I would have to say I was more out of control on high school spring break than college spring break, due mostly to the fact that I was drinking mass quantities of alcohol, but not familiar enough with it’s effects on my body.

Most students have already returned home safely from spring break this year.  You might want to analyze your trip by checking out these safety tips on Erin Weed’s website. She is a friend of mine and approaches the subject realistically.  See how your trip measured up and apply some of Erin’s tips next year.  You just never know what might happen, and it helps to be as prepared as possible.  You are so important to so many people out there.  Keep yourself and your friends safe.

I admit it, I cuss too much.  I asked myself last year on New Year’s Eve, “Should I make a new year’s resolution to stop cussing?”  I decided not to, thinking it was too much fun to give up.  But now I’m reconsidering that decision.  14-year-old McKay Hatch, who started the No Cussing Club, might convince me to trade in my more colorful words for replacement words / phrases such as:

holy dump!
son of a biscuit!
pickles!
barnacles!

Some of those may sound a little dorky, but hey, I’m a dork.  In The Fantastic Mr. Fox, one of the best movies of 2009, they simply replace every cuss word with the word “cuss.”  I’m kinda into that:

I actually heard a fellow speaker, Colleen Coffey, say “shut the front door!” during one of her presentations, and it came across as funny and adorable.  This year I made the decision not to cuss at all during my presentations, and I think it’s the right way to go.  Now the task at hand is to eliminate it from my daily life…hmmmm…..can I do it?  Sure, why the cuss not.

This first video represents a peculiar problem within our society. A 78-year-old man is the victim of a hit-and-run, yet witnesses on the scene do nothing to help him. Everyone stands around like idiots, thinking that someone else will do something. This, my friends, is the bystander effect.

So, how does this issue relate to Keep Friendship Alive? Ask yourselves these questions: Have you ever thought to yourself, ‘I am really concerned about my friend’s drinking problem, but I don’t want to deal with saying something.’? Or, have you ever been around a very drunk person who potentially needed 911, but instead he was put to bed to ’sleep it off’? Have you ever let a drunk friend walk home by herself because nobody wanted to leave the party? Every time you ignore your instincts to intervene on something you know is inherently wrong or dangerous, you are acting as a bystander. Is that the kind of friend you want to be, or person for that matter? Don’t get me wrong, you must choose your battles, and no one wants to be friends with a tattletale or nervous Nellie. But, if you just pay attention to your instincts, YOU WILL KNOW when to step in.

The second video is brought to you by man’s best friend. What an amazing example this dog sets for us as he acts on his instincts to do the right thing. No wonder how those amazing creatures got their nickname….that’s the kind of friend I want. And that’s the kind of friend I want to be.

Both of these videos were featured in Corey Ciocchetti’s presentation this weekend at SEPC in Atlanta, GA. He speaks on achieving authentic success and living an ethical life. Thanks for sharing these videos, Corey. Keep sharing your moral compass with others.

P.S. – I was told the dog lived. Unfortunately, the man was paralyzed from the neck down.

Have you ever wanted to help a friend with an alcohol or drug problem, but didn’t want to confront that friend?  We’ve all been there.  Confronting a friend about any issue is difficult and not exactly on your top 10 list of things you want to do.

University of Miami has given their students an alternative approach.  During my recent presentation there, I chatted with the Assistant Dean of Students, Nanette Vega, who is also the director of Pier 21, UM’s AOD (alcohol & other drug) center.  I was really impressed with their peer-to-peer approach on drug and alcohol awareness and most specifically, a way for students to anonymously help one another.  I sat down with Nanette and asked her a few questions about the awesome work they are doing there.  (Find out if similar services are offered at your school by visiting your wellness center / AOD office in person or online.)

1) Confronting a friend who is making dangerous choices can be very intimidating.  Pier 21′s referral program gives students a chance to ANONYMOUSLY help a friend by filling out a form on www.miami.edu/pier21.  How successful has this program been?

“This program has been extremely successful.  Students know they can refer a friend without getting in trouble or being judged.  I get them the help that they need including counseling services on campus, outside agencies such as AA groups, or referrals to outpatient/inpatient treatment centers.”

2) What are the main issues UM faces in regards to drugs and alcohol?

“The number one health issue colleges/universities are dealing with is ALCOHOL ABUSE/MISUSE.  The University of Miami continues to address this issue by awareness campaigns, presentations, speakers, and requiring all freshman to complete the alcoholedu course.”

3) What is your advice to schools facing tough issues regarding drugs and alcohol?  What seems to be working / not working?

“It important for schools to be pro-active instead of re-active in addressing the issue of AOD on their college campus.  Make students aware of the rules/regulations at orientation.  Sponsor a speaker during orientation to set the tone of what’s happening in the world.  Share what resources are available to the students and parents, and what is expected of them as they become part of the community.  Peer Educators seem to be the most effective way to educate students on AOD.  Students listen to their peers.  Peers should receive training (CPE-through BACCHUS network) among other training to complement the efforts of the center/director.”

Pictured below (Erica Upshaw, Nanette Vega, Ariel Hernandez)

Apolo Ohno is visiting middle schools across the country encouraging kids to say “YES” to a healthy lifestyle and “NO” to underage drinking.  Not only has he made history, now he’s using his stardom to positively influence young people everywhere.  (Hollywood, please follow his lead!  Especially you, Heidi.)  Visit www.asklistenlearn.com to learn more.  Here is a quote from Ohno:

“The decisions I made as a young teen heavily influenced where I am today. In fact, many of the decisions I’ve made off-the-ice have contributed the most to my success,” said Apolo Anton Ohno, winner of eight-record breaking Olympic medals in short-track speed skating. “I truly believe that healthy habits and positive choices start at childhood which is why I’m proud to establish my own Foundation and work with The Century Council to spread healthy messages, including ‘say no’ to underage drinking, to kids across the country.”

Watch this powerful new commercial examining an out of body look into an abusive teen relationship.

If this video was shorter, I would put it in the “drunk idiot” part of my presentation. Freaking ridiculous.

The choking game is defined on Wikipedia as “intentionally cutting off oxygen to the brain with the goal of inducing euphoria.”  It is also known as the fainting game, Blackout, jeu du foulard, Würgespiel, and Rocket Ride.  I remember playing this “game” at my friend’s basement party in the 8th grade because a group of us wanted to feel high.  When it was my turn, I bent forward with my hands on my knees and hyperventilated, then stood with my back against the wall as my friend pressed his hands against my throat to stop my breathing.  What came next was a tingling sensation down my body and a taste in my throat like I had just inhaled helium from a balloon.  Then….black. I woke up on the floor feeling light headed.  Then we did it to the next person.

This became a pretty popular game that year.  One day we decided to show our basketball coach after practice.  Yes, how stupid that must sound.  We showed our basketball coach because we thought he might be amused in some way.  We showed him because we seriously had no idea that it was a life threatening act.  As you can imagine, he was furious and tremendously disappointed in us.  That day we learned the dangers of this terrible game.  Depriving your brain of oxygen can cause brain cell death resulting in a number of horrible outcomes ranging from difficulty in concentration, short term memory loss, lifelong mental disability, and death.  The CDC just conducted it’s first large scale survey in Oregon and found that 36% of 8th graders knew about the choking game and 1 in 15 had tried it.  Most young people probably don’t know the facts, as was the case with my group of friends.  Please learn more about the choking game by visiting ChokingGame.net and thedbfoundation.com.  Then tell your friends.  Nobody’s parents should have to go through what Ken Tork has experienced.  Here he is on the Today Show, talking about how the choking game killed his son, Kevin.

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